Confidence to Learn

#1 - The Power of Choice
Hey kids, did you know that you have a very special power? It's a power that makes people happy to be in the same room with you. It's a power that helps you get along with your brothers and sisters. It's a power that makes you listen to your mom and dad without arguing and making them repeat themselves. It's a power that helps you become a better person because it allows you to expect good things of yourself and doesn't allow you to settle for anything less. It's a very special power even though it's not new, or unusual, or even a well-kept secret.

What is the power that I am speaking of? It's the power of CHOICE! Now you might say that Choice is not a power at all. Look closely.

• You can choose to get up in the morning and be happy and in a good mood, or you can choose to be gloomy.
• You can choose to say "thank you" to mom for making your breakfast and driving you to school, or you can say nothing at all for all the nice things she does for you.
• You can choose to think and say "Please can I play with that ball too?" to someone who has a ball that you want, or you can choose to rip it out of their hands and take it for yourself.
• You can choose to invite a classmate who doesn't have a lot of friends to play with you and your friends, or you can choose to not invite them and let them be alone.
• You can choose to welcome another person to feel like a part of your group, or you can choose to be mean and cruel and keep the new person a stranger.

Choose Success!

#2 - The Power of the Words You Choose
In this morning's newspaper, there was an article about how our national leaders have been using hurtful words on the Senate floor. We hear all the time about celebrities, athletes, and entertainers throwing away their dignity by using foul language. Those people might be rich and powerful, but how can they be good role models for our kids? It makes a parent wonder, what can we do to make our community more civil?

Kids know intuitively that certain words are powerful weapons. We have to teach them how to choose words that will help them achieve purposes that are healthy and moral. We have to teach our kids that careless words hurt, while words chosen in love and compassion can teach, comfort, and lift.

We can set a good example by choosing carefully what we say. We have the power of choice. One of our choices is what we say.

• We can say "please" and "thank you", or we can ignore these courtesies and let another person feel taken for granted.
• We can say "yes, sir" and "yes, ma'am," or we can get sloppy and say "yeah."
• We can say "hello" and smile and reach out to shake hands and look the other person in the eye, or we can retreat into the comfortable distance of shyness.

#3 - The Pitfalls of Comparison
We all measure ourselves by other people. That can be healthy and help us grow. Recently a young girl said, "Did you see Miss Koenig doing her form? I bet I could be like her someday!" That's a great attitude: I have much to learn from my role model, but I can get there.

But comparing yourself to others can be destructive, too:

• Sometimes we compare ourselves to others and decide we're better: Can you believe that girl? That guy is such a dweeb. Those attitudes can get in the way of treating other people with respect. And they can distract us from trying to reach our own personal best.
• More often, we compare ourselves to others and feel we're not as good somehow: My flying spin is clumsy next to hers. His form is so much stronger than mine.

Take a different attitude. Instead of envying or dissing someone, walk up to them and meet them in the right spirit. That might be: You're doing well. I'd like to learn from you. Could you please teach me? Or it might be: Could we work together? I'd like to help you.

#4 - Overcoming the Fear of Failure
Have you ever really wanted to try something but decided not to? What happened? Did you stop because you were afraid that you would look foolish if you didn't do well? Where does this self-doubt come from? Why is it important that we work on ridding ourselves of our self-doubt?

All of us are given the wonderful gift of potential. In order for us to fulfill our potential, we must be willing to try many new things and risk not doing them very well at first. When we don't do well, we often stop because we feel embarrassed and look foolish. Let's make a deal: Decide at this time to feel embarrassed and look foolish often. It's the stuff that true winners are made of. When we develop the ability to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and look and feel bad, we open the floodgates of our possibilities. Thomas Edison, Martin Luther King, Oprah Winfrey, Michael Jordan, and Brett Favre would never have become the people that they are without having developed the ability to overcome the incredible fear of failure. Every great human being welcomes the challenge of trying something new. Along with that challenge one must also realize and accept the fact that it takes time and repetition to do anything well.

We encourage you to welcome challenge and a certain amount of frustration and confusion. It will forge you into a stronger, healthier person. Eventually your skill at navigating difficult situations will increase and larger challenges will not seem so dangerous.

#5 - The Value of Commitment
What excites you? What would you really like to be good at? Everyone has different thoughts and ideas on this subject. Even though the thoughts and ideas may differ, the fact is that you must make a decision to commit yourself before any progress will be realized or a goal will be fulfilled. Committing to a goal involves a variety of choices. (There is that word choice again!) Those choices include:

• Choosing what the goal or outcome is that you desire.
• Choosing to spend time and energy in order that you will feel progress.
• Choosing to understand that not everything will be smooth sailing and you will experience difficult times.
• Choosing not to give up when times become difficult or those around you tell you that your goal is not worthwhile.

#6 - Create an Exceptional Environment
What exactly is an Exceptional Environment? An exceptional environment can consist of many things. Here are a few ideas:

• An exceptional environment is one where people get along and help each other.
• An exceptional environment is one where people pitch in and work toward common goals, whatever those goals might be-for example: Learning together in a classroom, helping clean the house, being nice to brothers and sisters.
• An exceptional environment is one where positive attitudes, encouragement, and smiles are easy to find.
• An exceptional environment draws people in and makes them excited to be there and willing to contribute.

#7 - Make Someone's Day
Special martial artists are not always those that kick and punch with speed, power, and balance. Special martial artists are those that take time to recognize and respect other people's feelings and accomplishments. Just think how much more effective we could be if we used the simple skill of thinking before we talk, look, listen, and analyze before moving forward. With continued practice in honing our observation skills, we can make a smooth transition into making someone's day.

What would it take? Not much at all. Just a bit of thoughtful action. Here are a few ideas:

• Tell mom or dad how much you appreciate all that they do for you.
• Tell your teacher at school that you've appreciated his or her hard work.
• Volunteer to do some work for an elderly grandparent or neighbor.
• Help someone out without expecting anything in return.
• Say something nice to someone. It's amazing how good people feel when you say "thank you."

SMILE! HAVE FUN!

#8 - Smile! Have Fun!
What a difference a smile can make. Not only does a smile affect the person who is smiling in a positive way, it also makes everyone within that person's vicinity feel better. What an easy and effortless way to improve your environment! Did you know that it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown? It takes less energy to be dynamic and uplifting that to be a grump. What's your choice?

Often times we look for confusing and frustrating answers to things that might be causing stress in our lives. Often times the solutions can be very simple and can be solutions that we've heard about and known our entire life. Here are a few suggestions:

• Smile often and have fun.
• Do one thing at a time.
• Choose your attitude.

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